I was thinking that recently I’ve started to become a little too serious for my liking. I thought back to certain situations, how I dealt with them and how I would have dealt with them before I got so serious. I came up with this.
Photocopying 10 lots of trial bundles each enclosing around 10,000 pieces of paper.
I stood at the printer photocopying the gazillion pages, sweating like a pig and politely saying hi to every colleague that walked passed me. As a child, I would have photocopied by butt and taped the copies all around the office. I would have hid behind the printer to scare everyone walking passed too. How fucking funny would it be seeing my boss look at my arse taped to her computer screen?
Filing an application in the rolls building in London, where the woman behind the counter told me I had to file it electronically and that she could not accept paper copies.
I apologised profusely, took all of the blame and asked her again very nicely to let me submit the application with paper. Jesus, did I let her ride that power wave! As a child, I would have cried, screamed, thrown my toys at her until I got my way. "I WANT PAPER!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Having a million cakes and chocolate bars on my desk for the staff, as it was my boss’s birthday.
I resisted all things sweet and watched everyone else enjoy the sugar leaving behind their work. "Think summer body, think summer body". As a child, I would have eaten the lot, left none for anyone else and ended up with chocolate all over my face. Fuck the rules, give me the cellulite.
Telling my ex boyfriend I didn’t want to meet up with him for a coffee.
I was mature and polite and said “I don’t think that’s for the best, but I hope you're well”. As a child, I’d have punched him in the face, thrown sand in his eye and walked off. Oh how GREAT that would feel.
Basically, the moral of the story is that we should all have a child’s mindset; way better. Maybe next time I see my arsehole ex boyfriend I’ll throw sand in his eye.