OK – time for  a rant. I am positively, absolutely, 100%, completely FED UP of men and their inability to keep their dicks in their pants. Honestly, do we need to invent some kind of contraption in order to keep it inside their jeans? We can call it the lochness entrapment.

Keep your fucking lochness away from me, the lot of you.

In all seriousness, in today’s age, infidelity seems so common that It’s practically the norm. Why do men insist on cheating on their other halves? Why is it that the male species think it is OK to completely disregard your commitment to someone that you are supposed to care for?

The reason for my rant: I received a text from ‘The Wanker’. I have known this guy for some time now. He has a bad track record with women – he has cheated before, he is cheating now, and I’m sure he’ll cheat again. To be honest, I’m not sure how he does it as he’s not exactly god’s gift. But there we have it, he is the classic case of the inherent cheat.

“Can I come over tomorrow evening?”

When he says ‘come over’, the intentions were not for a quick cup of tea and a catch up, if you catch my drift. I don’t want a relationship with the boy – god no – so a little bit of fun wouldn’t hurt. Being the single and up-for-a-laugh girl that I am, I agree.


An hour or so before the wanker is due to come over, my best friend tells me… “you know he has a girlfriend right?” “He took her to Paris last weekend too” “Apparently he has already cheated on her”.…What…the…fuck

What I don’t understand is…why? Why do you need to try and sleep with me when you have a loving girlfriend ready for you at home? What is the necessity of it? This poor girl has no idea what her boyfriend is doing, or who he is doing, behind her back.

From my-mummy-doesn’t-love-me, to insecure-as-fuck, there is simply no excuse.

I have lost count of the amount of guys trying it on with me or my friends, woo’ing us into thinking they may actually be different, only for us to realise they’re just like the rest of the cheating wankers out there. Anyone, please let me know if I’m wrong but my conclusion has got to be:

Men are fucking morons.

If you’re going to cheat you probably shouldn’t be in a relationship. Grow up and treat people like people, instead of tools in your selfish ego workshop.