Can someone please help me out here? I am SO CONFUSED. I have the classic case of the headfuck. One minute he is sooo sweet and the next he’s a burning ball  of WANKER hurling toward me at 100mph.

I feel like everyone has one. The headfuck. That one guy that you really like and who seems to really like you back but only 50% of the time. And it sends you crazy to the point that you find yourself stalking his dad’s ex wives daughter’s holiday photos to try and glean some kind of clarification as to what the fuck is going on in this guy’s head.

I just do not understand him. One minute he’s making me smashed avo on toast with a green tea in bed telling me how much he likes me, to then falling completely off the planet, to then running back into my life telling me he wants to see my beautiful face.  WHAT THE FUCK? Seriously, make your mind up.

I am the worst person when it comes to sleeping with someone and then getting bored or freaked out after a couple of weeks. You’ll all be aware by now that I am very content being single. Boyfriend really isn’t in my vocabulary at present. But this boy, this boy is doing my head in. I cannot get him out of my head. HELP!

I have assessed the situation like the lawyer I am and I’ve come up with 2 scenarios:

Scenario 1

He doesn’t like me. He’s using me for sex and there are absolutely no emotions in his brain or body whatsoever. (But why make so much effort if you just want sex?!)

Senario 2

He is emotionally unavailable. This guy is quite insecure. He has never been in a relationship either. Maybe I just need to help him along the way?

If anyone’s out there, please assist.