I like to call it the Baddiction. It’s the boyfriend addition. It’s worldwide and it’s brutal.

I am a classic case of having the baddiction. Or at least I was until about a year ago.Like a rabbit on crack, I have hopped from one boyfriend to another since the age of 16. You name him, I’ve dated him. I was constantly in a relationship and I was constantly jumping from an old one to a new one.

At the time of your jumping, you don’t really think of this as anything unusual. In fact, I remember thinking I was lucky. I’d found another victim to buy me flowers and play with my hair and if you asked me that was a good thing. HOW WRONG I WAS.

The issue with boyfriend jumping is that you’re never actually on your own. You constantly have to think about someone else. You can never be selfish. You spend years and years relying on another person, and the only thing that changes is who that person actually is.

But what happens when that ‘person’ disappears all together? You break up with your boyfriend and for the first time, there’s no back up guy. What do you do?

This is one of the biggest lessons I learned when my ex cheated on me last summer.For the first time since I was 16 years old, I was actually on my own. I’m not joking, I did not actually know what to do with myself. What do I do at the weekend? Who do I send my good morning text to? Who can I call when I’m upset and wanting to rant? Who do I text?! It was SO weird. It was like this whole part of my life had disappeared. I was on my own and to be honest, it was terrifying.

Even though I struggled massively at the beginning, I am SO glad that I’ve been single for the last year. I’ve learned so much about myself that I didn’t even know before. I’ve realised my strengths and weaknesses and my likes and dislikes. I’ve thought about me and me alone and it has been so refreshingly great to be completely selfish with my time. I’ve met new people and made new friends and I’ve experienced so many new things and places. I’ve thrown myself into my career and I’ve still had time for a fucking great social life. It has been the best.

In today’s society, being single is sometimes portrayed as being a kind of weakness. People look at you and think “I wonder what she’s doing to still be single?” or “we need to get her a boyfriend“. To be honest, I probably used to be one of those people. But now I feel like the fish on the inside of the tank, looking at people in relationships and hoping that they’re not yet another victim of the baddiction. This last year without the strain of a relationship has truly been one of the best, I’m a new me and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Advertisements